Lost in Travel Agent Translation

In order to go on the Athens-in-one-day cruise I had to get to the port of Pireaus and find my boat. Here are the directions from Niko the travel agent...



Wtf right? But despite my fears I didnt get horribly lost!

I love a man in uniform!

Nikki and I were in our hotel room in Hydra, we heard a marching band and of course had to investigate. We looked out the window and to my delight saw a whole lot of sailor boys passing right under our window. "Heeellllllooooooooooo Boys! Room 103!! Bring your friends!". We ran out the room to follow them and see what was going on. We were in the getting-ready-to-go-out phase and happened to be knickerless, we ran as fast as we could cackling all the way about how we are gonna call every Nicholas we know Knickerless! It turns out there was some or other church celebration they were involved in. Oh happy day we were on a little island filled with sailor boys, this is the life! We went out and drank to the Greek Navy!
so I was having me some steamy sailor dreams when I was woken up by the frikken marching band, at the crack of dawn!!! No no its not on at this time of the morning, people are trying to sleep!! *slams the window open and swears like a sailor* At that time of the morning you can shove your uniform up your bum! No actually you can shove your stupid little music instruments and your whole ship up your bum!

Night crawlers

Nikki and I were in Hydra and noticed that the tree trunks were painted white on the bottom half. But why? Nikki's reasoning? So drunk people dont walk into them at night!

Where in the world have i been?

So I have neglected my blog for a little while, mainly due to ultra slow connections speeds in the village. I make notes on my cellphone of anything blogworthy, and alas my cellphone died in Hydra (thats the second cellphone of mine to die there is less than a month!!!), all my notes are gone gone gone... the next few posts wont be in date order but I need to get you all up to date with where I've been and what I've done

Greek Style

If you flush toilet paper down the toilet beware the trident of Poseidon!

Look what followed us home

Train disruptions, metro closures. Lady Luck sent us an American Greek! As we made our way to the port (Nikki and I went to Hydra for the weekend) via a series of public transport disasters good ol James asked for directions and took us where we needed to be. James. James who travels in his sleeping bag so he can pull it over his head and be in his own nest. James who brushes his teeth in McDonalds. James who promised me a tour of Athens that got rained on. Good ol crazy James who tried to trick me with a chocolate chip cookie, that aint no dagga cookie James! I planned to eat it to prove he was lying but the Albanian bitches who cleaned our room in Hydra stole it.....!

Nikki and Niko

My lovely friend Nikki is coming to visit me from London, we decided to spend the weekend in Hydra. Nikki is one of those people who needs to be organised and wants to have everything in order way in advance. She has been nagging me to get a confirmation letter (for visa purposes) from the hotel we will be staying at (www.hydroussahotel.gr), but I've had limited internet access for the last two weeks so it hasnt gotten done yet. Spoke to Niko today and asked him to mail Nikki what she needs, he asked if he could play a little joke on her, "Nikki will kill me!!!!"

I soon received an e-mail from a very flustered Nikki in response to the mail Niko had sent her:

Dear Mrs. Botha,

We would like to inform you that your booking is confirmed.
We reserve a room for the dates 15th of August until 19th of August.
Everything will be as you asked.
On the airport, you will have transport service. A car of our company with a couple of extremely professional strippers will make your way to the port more convenient.
Arriving at Hydra, be careful cause a coloured man will be waiting for you...he will accompany you at the hotel singing all the time Bob Marley.
At the hotel, your "Godfather" will be in his office where you can give him all the guns, the bombs and the drugs he ordered, don't forget to give him also a t-shirt from London.

We will be at your disposal for any further information or request.

Kind regards,

Nikos Karabikas
Hydroussa hotel, resort and spa

p.s. a couple of nice bikini photos could easily make your stay more convenient.

Niko is a Good Boy!!!

Athens in One Day Cruise

Niko (the travel agent, www.passepartout-tours.gr) organised the cruise for me. Its supposed to be a one day cruise but of course Niko has a connection on one of the islands who owns a hotel (www.hydroussahotel.gr) so I stayed over for a night (yes of course his friend is also called Niko).
First stop, Hydra, an island that doesnt have any cars or motorbikes - the only means of transportation is by foot or donkey, I'll walk thanks. Spent the evening is Hydra and absolutely loved it. Hydra is a stunning island and my favourite of the three we visited.


Next stop Poros, pretty much the same as any other island, lots of coffee shops and restaurants. Apparently there is some or other navy base on Poros, I didnt see a single boy in uniform *sigh*

Our last stop was Aegina, famous for pistachio nuts, Agio Nektarios church and the Temple of Afaia. The pistachio ice cream isnt all that, dont waste 4 euros


Thanks to Niko and Niko for a fabulous trip! mwaaah!

O Nikos einai Kalo Paidi - Niko is a Good Boy

I love every Niko I have met in Greece.

- Niko Marmari: has a connection who got a real good price for the hotel room in Marmari,he drove us around the island whenever we needed a lift, and he squeezes lemons real good. He also looks after us when he is in Monastiraki and we are hungry, the best souvlaki in monastiraki!
- Niko Travel Agent: owns a travel agency (www.passepartout-tours.gr)and arranged my Athens in One Day cruise at a fraction of the price, also organised for me to at stay a friends hotel (Hydroussa) in Hydra free of charge
- Niko Hydroussa: owns the Hydroussa hotel (www.hydroussahotel.gr), organised me a sweet room free of charge and gave me advice on the best spots in Hydra
- Niko Radio Taxi: organises taxis at half the rate, and also let us sign an internet on-the-go contract on his name so I can have a stable internet connection while I am here, did I mention I'm only paying half the rate for the internet too?

The sea hates me too

I spent a day in Hydra and decided to catch some rays while I was there. I couldn’t find a beach but all around the waterfront are ladders (just like a swimming pool) leading straight into the sea, there are small pebble beaches (the beaches are small not the pebbles) and concrete slabs (how comfy!).
I found myself a sweet little spot and spent an hour suntanning the front, I lay there thinking maybe its the sand that I don’t like about the sea and not actually the sea (sand gets everywhere!!) then went for a dip (stood on a slimy rock full of moss, shuddered and quickly swam deeper where I wouldn’t have to stand on any slimy crap, wait whats this crap floating around me? Eeeeuuuw seaweed!!! and yes we have conclusive proof that I definitely don’t like the sea!). I hightailed it out of the sea back to my sweet spot in the sun, undid my bikini strap and starting working on tanning the back.
After about 15 minutes a boat came past and disturbed the water (there are no waves in the sea here), a wave came crashing onto the slab and reached my knees, I looked back and saw the second wave coming…… I leapt to save my Nine West Shopper (yes I know its not a beach bag!!!!) containing my cellphones, ipod and camera, and yes my bikini was still undone and the crowd received an x-rated Baywatch moment, and no I didn’t save the HTC but the rest are all still working.
After walking back to the hotel with all my belongings drenched, my once fabulous Nine West shopper now has stains from the Marie Claire towel (more free stuff! Buy this months issue and get a free beach towel) and from my sarong. I’m now sitting at a beach bar sipping on a Screaming Orgasm (vodka, baileys, amaretto, kahlua)….. after baring my bosom to all and sundry I think I deserve a screaming orgasm!