Bat outta hell

*flapping noises*
Me: "whats that?"
Thoma: "a butterfly" *said in a heavy greek accent while picking up a tennis racquet (not actually a real tennis racquet, its for killing bugs, you press a button and the strings are charged with an electrical current, same principle as those purple light things that zap bugs, pretty nifty)*
*squints eyes to get a better look*
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!
Me: "thats not a butterfly its a BAT!!! omg omg kill it!"
*swoosh swoosh swoosh*
Thoma: swearing in greek*
Thoma: “Maybe it can see me coming? But its supposed to be blind!!”
*swoosh swoosh thud*

VICTORY!!! And let that be a warning to the other bats out there who have even the slightest thought about entering my brave cousin’s house


Did you know? If a bat gets caught in your hair its almost impossible to remove it? The more it flaps about the more tangled it gets *wildly shakes her head and tries to get the imaginary bat out of her hair* Heebie Jeebies!

A sign that Greece doesn't like tourists

So ALL those words mean 'Centre'? Nai malaka they all mean Centre. I have no idea how non greek speaking tourists survive in this country

Greek Engrish

Pool rules at the Nicopolis Club, I nearly died laughing!

You're doing it wrong

We were at the Nicopolis Club (beach bar and water park) and getting ready to leave when a couple arrived. It was 6:30pm, pointless time to arrive at the pool but hey. Boyfriend is lily white. Girlfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on boyfriends face. Girlfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on boyfriends back. Boyfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on his stomach (nothing to look at unfortunately). Then boyfriend finds the perfect spot... under the umbrella!!! The only part of him getting any sun was his one calf, and note he didnt apply any sunscreen there! You're doing it wrong! And then a big fat guy came along and washed all the sunscreen off!

Frappe is so last year

For years Frappe was all the rage in Greece. I've been here for over a month and havent seen one person drinking Frappe, everyone is drinking Freddo. At all the coffee shops there are constant orders for "Kapoutsino Freddo" (for you english folk thats Cappuccino!)

I'm a Giant

Greeks in South Africa are short. Greeks in Greece are midgets *hmmm maybe that will get the Twin here*
I am 1,65m tall (well, not tall, but you know what I mean), most people I know are at least a head taller than me. In Greece most people are a head shorter than me! The average height of the girls here is 1,58m (according to them, when I find a measuring tape I will prove that 1,28 is NOT the same as 1,58!!!) Discussed this with Glykeria, I said "I feel like a giant here", she said "YOU ARE!!!"

The Music scene in Greece

Athens is most definitely on the map in terms of music, some of the names that have concerts lined up this month: Tiesto, The Killers, Placebo, Duffy, Joss Stone, Santana, Scorpions, Michael Bolton (hey, my mom and her friends think he’s a star)

Remixed 80’s music is big here, perfect for drinking and dancing *longs for the Tiger Tiger days, no wait, Night Fever!!!*

Athens is obsessed with Lady Gaga, even more than Johannesburg is! Oh and of course Michael Jackson’s death is still big news

Eurovision songs are also a big hit here

Glykeria and Choleva always have either Rythmos (http://www.e-radio.gr/player/player.asp?btID=1&sID=215&cID=undefined&rID=undefined&partnerID=undefined) or Sfera (http://www.e-radio.gr/player/player.asp?btID=1&sID=143&cID=undefined&rID=undefined&partnerID=undefined) playing in their cars

Songs that are ranked high on the playlists here and that will always remind me of Summer in Greece 2009:
- I know you want me (Pitbull), practically the national anthem of this summer

- Change (Daniel Merriweather), cant find the original video so here’s the lyrics version
- Tha 'Mai Allios (Elena Paparizou), also a juice ad
- Fonazo (Giannis Ploutarxos)
- Pano ap’ola (Miron Stratis)

- Varethika (Nikos Vertis), heart wrenching sad break up song, reminds me of Glykeria and Katerina’s messed up relationships!
- Ti Na Mas Kanei i Nixta (G. Sampanis & Stereo Mike)

Okay yes their music videos do need some work!

Things I need to get used to in Greece - Part 2

- There is a pharmacy on every street corner, how many sick people are there here? *sprays herself with swine flu preventing stuff*. Pharmacies are like petrol stations, they aren’t open all the time or even until late. They work on a rotational basis – if your pharmacy is closed it will have a notice on the door letting you know which pharmacy in the area is open (please note you get an address not directions so for emergencies go straight to the hospital, do not pass the pharmacy and do not collect R200)
- The shops aren’t open all day every day. Mondays and Wednesdays they close at 3pm, Tuesdays and Thursdays they close at 9pm but are closed during siesta time between 2pm and 5pm, Saturdays they close at 3pm, and they don’t open on Sundays, even most supermarkets are closed on Sundays!


- 80% of people don’t wear helmets when riding a motorbike or scooter (I have a feeling it’s a Kool Kid thing), 10% ride them with their helmets hanging on their arm (I don’t get it either). Quad bikes are also allowed on the road. It’s the norm to see more than one person on a bike at a time, even 3 is not unusual (I saw a family on a bike, dad in front, mom at the back and little kid squished in the middle, yip just like that e-mail you saw once)
- Most robots have poor people waiting to wash yo
ur windscreen, all you need to do is shake your head or finger once, only once, and they will go away. No need to scream NO NO NO and put the windscreen wipers on as a deterrent. And I haven’t seen any pamphlet people, imagine stopping at a robot and not having a pamphlet shoved in your face!
- The effing dustbin collectors (in Galatsi) wake me up at 05:50am every morning, they make so much noise that it sounds like they are demolishing the building next door! This white south african girl has a little heart attack every morning at 05:50am
- I’ve been here for a month and I still worry that someone will have broken into the apartment while I was out, I still worry that someone will break into the apartment during the night, I still get a bit panicky when I hear strange noises…. But I do feel a lot braver here *lifts her fists and starts weaving* bring it on motherfuckers! *said in her best gangsta voice*
- Most people park their cars on the road at night, and find them there in the morning! In SA I parked my car outside for half an hour and it got broken into. I parked my car inside, activated the beams and the alarm, and it got broken into!
- Greek rap. Enough said
- Paying 11 euros for a cocktail. R130 for one freaking cocktail! And no, not a lethal concoction that will have you dancing with your arms in the air shouting how much you looooooove this song after a few sips….. just a plain old mojito. When you say you’re going out for a drink you really mean just ‘A’ drink. When I get back to SA I am going to throw alcohol down my throat until the cows come home, until then guess who is going to be nursing a couple of bottles of cheap vino before going out? Oh and no one dances here….. no wonder, cause they’re all sober!!!
- Restaurants, coffee shops, clubs etc serve the entire table water as soon as you sit down, even if you don’t ask for it, and they keep refilling the glasses even if you don’t ask them to.
- At a coffee shop or bar, as soon as you order a drink the waiter brings you the bill, which does seem just a tad bit rude but apparently you aren't actually expected to pay it right away. When you are ready to leave you add up each bill from each round, no such thing as running a tab here
- The showers are tiny. I’m not just saying that because my daddy built us the mother of all showers. In hotels, if you stand in the shower and close the shower curtain it touches one whole side of your body (the feeling of a wet cold shower curtain clinging to your body is enough to make you see the merits of a Portuguese bath. Not? Just think how many thousands of random bodies that same shower curtain clings to each holiday season). In homes, the shower head is attached to the taps in the bath with a pipe just long enough to lift it over your head, there is no hook on the wall to hang it from, try washing your hair with one hand and holding the shower head in the other! When I get home I am gonna shower 5 times a day *thinks of her fabulous shower back home and imagines she is featuring in a Timotei ad*
- The lift (elevator) door doesn’t automatically open when you reach your floor, you actually need to push it open. The lifts are roughly the same size as most showers, not unusual for a lift to only fit two people at a time (and it’s a tight squeeze, shoulder to shoulder)

I love The Mall

Most of the shops in Greece are found along the sidewalks, imagine during rainy season. Yianna (Aunt Fevronia’s daughter) took me to The Mall in Marousi, I am in love. Great big air-conditioned shopping centre with every store you could wish for! Reminds me a lot of Menlyn, I love Menlyn. The Mall doesn’t follow the ridiculous working hours that normal stores do(none of that closing at lunchtime for siesta nonsense) its open every day, weekdays from 9am until 9pm, but closes earlier on Saturdays at 8pm, how fab! Lucky little me can take the Proastiako (suburban railway) from Glykeria’s house in Vrillissia and two stops later I’m at The Mall *kisses her euros goodbye* http://www.themallathens.gr/

Crepa-Crepa

Pronounced crapper-crapper but no you cant flush the toilet paper in their store.
Savoury, sweet, ethnic, vegetarian. Pancakes with any combination of filling that your greedy little self could ever wish for! My choice was a Papageno - nutella, white chocolate and biscuits.
"one Papageno please"
The kind sir pours some batter onto a round *searches her non existent cooking vocab for the word* hot plate(?), after a minute or so he slides a spatula under the pancake and flips it. When it is a golden brown colour and the sweet smell of deliciousness fills the air, he folds the pancake in half. Out comes a supersize bottle of nutella (its huge! the size of 3 of ours!), he covers one half with nutella and the other half with melted white chocolate, then he sprinkles broken bits of biscuits all over the pancake. Then he takes the pointy sides of the semi-cirle pancake and folds them up to the middle of the circle part (is this making sense?), he folds it in half again so the nutella side and white chocolate side are now facing each other,he folds the bottom up so it doesnt drip out the bottom like an ice cream cone (really smart!), he folds it in half again so it becomes a triangle, he pops it into wrap paper and hands it to you (this part feels like ultra slow motion). You take the first bite and your mouth is filled with warm gooey chocolate, bliss! The store in Halandri even delivers to our house in Vrillissia! *fast forward 3 months to my disbelief at how much weight I picked up while in Greece*

Athens in One Day Cruise

Niko (the travel agent, www.passepartout-tours.gr) organised the cruise for me. Its supposed to be a one day cruise but of course Niko has a connection on one of the islands who owns a hotel (www.hydroussahotel.gr) so I stayed over for a night (yes of course his friend is also called Niko).
First stop, Hydra, an island that doesnt have any cars or motorbikes - the only means of transportation is by foot or donkey, I'll walk thanks. Spent the evening is Hydra and absolutely loved it. Hydra is a stunning island and my favourite of the three we visited.


Next stop Poros, pretty much the same as any other island, lots of coffee shops and restaurants. Apparently there is some or other navy base on Poros, I didnt see a single boy in uniform *sigh*

Our last stop was Aegina, famous for pistachio nuts, Agio Nektarios church and the Temple of Afaia. The pistachio ice cream isnt all that, dont waste 4 euros


Thanks to Niko and Niko for a fabulous trip! mwaaah!

The New Acropolis Museum

Glykeria and I were lucky enough to get tickets to the new Acropolis Musuem (yes of course a Niko organised them for us, standard). I am not an avid museum-goer but this museum is definitely worth seeing, the layout and structure are phenomenal, all the pieces are displayed openly (not in those tacky glass boxes - but you arent allowed to touch them), and the view of the Acropolis in the background is stunning. Each level has glass tiles so you can see the levels below, the third floor is definitely not for those with a fear of heights - we'll just walk on the frosted tiles.
There's a huge fuss about pieces that are in the British Museum. They were stolen long ago and up until now the Brits have refused to give them back claiming that Greece had no facilities to properly display them, so the Greeks got rid of the small old museum and built the fab new give-the-Brits-the finger museum.... they are now insisting on the return of the missing pieces. There are spaces open in the museum for these pieces and plaster casts of the British originals are very noticeably placed next to Greek originals. Will the pieces be returned? So far the Brits are keeping mum

Open Air Cinema

Glykeria and I went to the movies, totally different to movies in South Africa! The rooftop of an apartment block has been converted into an open air cinema, the difference is not only that its an open air cinema, the difference is there are tables between the chairs and you can drink and smoke while you watch the movie... yes alcohol! the kiosk sells a variety of beers and Bacardi Breezer type drinks, and not only do you get popcorn but nachos with cheese too!
We saw Burning Plains which was translated as The Horizons of Loneliness *shrugs her shoulders*. The movies in Greece arent dubbed but they have Greek subtitles, perfect for us English speaking folk who think its great to be able to knock a few back while watching the movie and not have to struggle with subtitles!

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O Nikos einai Kalo Paidi - Niko is a Good Boy

I love every Niko I have met in Greece.

- Niko Marmari: has a connection who got a real good price for the hotel room in Marmari,he drove us around the island whenever we needed a lift, and he squeezes lemons real good. He also looks after us when he is in Monastiraki and we are hungry, the best souvlaki in monastiraki!
- Niko Travel Agent: owns a travel agency (www.passepartout-tours.gr)and arranged my Athens in One Day cruise at a fraction of the price, also organised for me to at stay a friends hotel (Hydroussa) in Hydra free of charge
- Niko Hydroussa: owns the Hydroussa hotel (www.hydroussahotel.gr), organised me a sweet room free of charge and gave me advice on the best spots in Hydra
- Niko Radio Taxi: organises taxis at half the rate, and also let us sign an internet on-the-go contract on his name so I can have a stable internet connection while I am here, did I mention I'm only paying half the rate for the internet too?

The sea hates me too

I spent a day in Hydra and decided to catch some rays while I was there. I couldn’t find a beach but all around the waterfront are ladders (just like a swimming pool) leading straight into the sea, there are small pebble beaches (the beaches are small not the pebbles) and concrete slabs (how comfy!).
I found myself a sweet little spot and spent an hour suntanning the front, I lay there thinking maybe its the sand that I don’t like about the sea and not actually the sea (sand gets everywhere!!) then went for a dip (stood on a slimy rock full of moss, shuddered and quickly swam deeper where I wouldn’t have to stand on any slimy crap, wait whats this crap floating around me? Eeeeuuuw seaweed!!! and yes we have conclusive proof that I definitely don’t like the sea!). I hightailed it out of the sea back to my sweet spot in the sun, undid my bikini strap and starting working on tanning the back.
After about 15 minutes a boat came past and disturbed the water (there are no waves in the sea here), a wave came crashing onto the slab and reached my knees, I looked back and saw the second wave coming…… I leapt to save my Nine West Shopper (yes I know its not a beach bag!!!!) containing my cellphones, ipod and camera, and yes my bikini was still undone and the crowd received an x-rated Baywatch moment, and no I didn’t save the HTC but the rest are all still working.
After walking back to the hotel with all my belongings drenched, my once fabulous Nine West shopper now has stains from the Marie Claire towel (more free stuff! Buy this months issue and get a free beach towel) and from my sarong. I’m now sitting at a beach bar sipping on a Screaming Orgasm (vodka, baileys, amaretto, kahlua)….. after baring my bosom to all and sundry I think I deserve a screaming orgasm!