Thursday, 2 July 2009

The sea hates me too

I spent a day in Hydra and decided to catch some rays while I was there. I couldn’t find a beach but all around the waterfront are ladders (just like a swimming pool) leading straight into the sea, there are small pebble beaches (the beaches are small not the pebbles) and concrete slabs (how comfy!).
I found myself a sweet little spot and spent an hour suntanning the front, I lay there thinking maybe its the sand that I don’t like about the sea and not actually the sea (sand gets everywhere!!) then went for a dip (stood on a slimy rock full of moss, shuddered and quickly swam deeper where I wouldn’t have to stand on any slimy crap, wait whats this crap floating around me? Eeeeuuuw seaweed!!! and yes we have conclusive proof that I definitely don’t like the sea!). I hightailed it out of the sea back to my sweet spot in the sun, undid my bikini strap and starting working on tanning the back.
After about 15 minutes a boat came past and disturbed the water (there are no waves in the sea here), a wave came crashing onto the slab and reached my knees, I looked back and saw the second wave coming…… I leapt to save my Nine West Shopper (yes I know its not a beach bag!!!!) containing my cellphones, ipod and camera, and yes my bikini was still undone and the crowd received an x-rated Baywatch moment, and no I didn’t save the HTC but the rest are all still working.
After walking back to the hotel with all my belongings drenched, my once fabulous Nine West shopper now has stains from the Marie Claire towel (more free stuff! Buy this months issue and get a free beach towel) and from my sarong. I’m now sitting at a beach bar sipping on a Screaming Orgasm (vodka, baileys, amaretto, kahlua)….. after baring my bosom to all and sundry I think I deserve a screaming orgasm!

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