You're doing it wrong

We were at the Nicopolis Club (beach bar and water park) and getting ready to leave when a couple arrived. It was 6:30pm, pointless time to arrive at the pool but hey. Boyfriend is lily white. Girlfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on boyfriends face. Girlfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on boyfriends back. Boyfriend spends 5 minutes rubbing sunscreen on his stomach (nothing to look at unfortunately). Then boyfriend finds the perfect spot... under the umbrella!!! The only part of him getting any sun was his one calf, and note he didnt apply any sunscreen there! You're doing it wrong! And then a big fat guy came along and washed all the sunscreen off!